Wake up. Or don’t. If dreaming is what you need, please see to it that it is done. If reality is where you want to be, see to it that you are awake. Let your feet touch the cold floor. A second sign you are alive. Sing a song when you are in the shower. If it is a song you shared with them, spit it out. Let it circle the drain and drown. Hold the door or wall when you step out of the tub. At that moment your heart weighs a ton and your body will fail to carry it. Make breakfast. Cut watermelons in shapes you desire. Appreciate the water it holds. Thank God for the first time in a while without deliberating if your thanksgiving belongs to a man or a woman. Listen to podcasts. Do your favourite things. Do not hate yourself because you stopped doing those when you were with them. Please. You are trying to heal. Find solace in the little things: an overjoyed baby. The scent of grass when she makes love with the rain. Pups running circles around their mother. Sudden laughter of strangers. On strangers: if you find one who you want to share a moment with, please do so. When they traverse your insides, try not to say the name of the one(s) who hurt you. You will cry and there will be pain. If this stranger lacks empathy and sees you crying, they will be terrified. They will stop. They will leave you to spew out this darkness that lays within. Bit by bit. One tear after another. Avoid the places you shared with them. For memory – man’s most potent tool – will not be kind to you. Search for new places. When you find them, mark your territory. Pee if you must. Like a lion sprays the bushes. Let this pee bring you satisfaction. If it does not, drink a bottle of water. Or vodka. Wait for your bladder. Do it all over again until the satisfaction fills your belly. I will not lie to you. You will miss them. Their touch. Their smell. The sound of their voice when they called your name like there was none compared to it, not even theirs. You will pick up the phone. And make that call. You will ask questions like, was I ever enough? Or why did you leave? If you are given an answer, take it. If you are not, take it anyway. You don’t want to linger in this space for too long. You will end the call to enjoy the silence of your still-developing wholeness. When you are healed, when you have forgiven them for ruining you, light will have a new meaning. Do not close your curtains on days the sun shines brightest. Find love in unfamiliar places. Your body will thank you. Your body will love you. You will dance in the rain and it will be electric. You will press your nose against clean clothes. You will feel the essence of heaven. It will make forget you were dead many moons before. Such is the temperament of your sorrow. You will have no use for this template once you agree you are whole. Its efficiency depends on your truth.